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Because you cannot really separate home and work, you must learn how to integrate these two worlds better. The tools you used for communicating and resolving conflicts before you worked together may just not be good enough anymore. As an entrepreneurial couple you and your spouse face dilemmas that may have never surfaced before to give you worry. This means you need to enhance your communication and problem solving skills beyond simple linear cause and effect (i.e. blame).
"I just let him handle things his way."
If you don't make time to talk, if you don't consider nurturing your personal relationship as important as nurturing your business, and if you avoid healthy conflict and confrontation, your partnership/relationship will disintegrate into two uninvolved business associates at the best, and into bitterness and divorce at the worst. So take the time now to evaluate your communication skills and your life/business plan. Invest in the time to develop a meaningful,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], loving relationship with your spouse that enhances your business relationship.
One person may resent having to compromise and will be looking for ammunition to prove that the decision was a bad one. Another person may feel he or she has done the honorable thing by not pushing his or her opinion on the other, only to feel unappreciated later when the compromise plan is dropped. If you stop and think about it, how long have your compromise decisions really lasted?
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Without good communication skills and quality time dedicated to communicating, relationships (business and personal) soon flounder and fail, especially among couples with the stress of two careers,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], or a joint enterprise, and a full family life. Moreover,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the potential for a breakdown in communication grows as the complexity of the family/business system increases.
As a member of an entrepreneurial couple you are under more stress and potential conflict than others. The worlds of your personal life and work life overlap considerably, creating more intersecting points. This creates a highly complex system of constantly changing roles and rules.
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It's as if confrontation and conflict are impolite. However, conflict and confrontation are natural and healthy components of any relationship. You are neither bad nor wrong for causing a conflict or identifying one. Conflict is an opportunity to open up communication on a difficult subject. You are neither bad nor wrong for causing a conflict or identifying one. Conflict is an opportunity to open up communication on a difficult subject.
A major reason entrepreneurial couples don't talk is that they are avoiding conflict and confrontation. There is a common misconception that conflict and confrontation are bad. One of the major reasons entrepreneurial couples have problems is their failure to confront issues head-on. They may fight openly or quietly seethe, but they have a terrible time confronting the real conflict respectfully and honestly.
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Don't make the mistake of pushing to win at all costs or to acquiescing to the persuader, when you don't agree. In either case, if you are the persuader or the acquiescent partner,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the conflict has not been resolved and, what's worse,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], may have been driven underground.
Do not fear conflict and confrontation. Because of the highly complex and interactive, multi-level system you have created as an entrepreneurial couple and family, conflicts are inevitable and actually a sign of growth. Therefore,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], avoiding conflict is not the goal. Rather you want to develop the tools to "lean into" conflicts and resolve them early on,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], so that you can reorganize your lives to include the new learning. Because entrepreneurial couples have a lot at stake when it comes to their business and their relationship, they are prone to avoid conflict or to use ineffective tools to solve the conflict too quickly. Compromising and acquiescing are two of these ineffective tools.
Most couples are shocked when I advise them to avoid compromises at all costs. After all, isn't compromise a requirement of partnership,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], both personal and business? The reality is that decisions that are arrived at through compromise usually lack creativity and seldom last. Sure, a compromise now and then may be necessary for the sake of expediency,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but if a decision is important, a compromise may cause anger and resistance. Because compromises are usually a result of both people giving up something in order to get an agreement, the decision is a watered-down version of two stronger opinions. While it may be satisfactory to accept compromise decisions for things like choosing a restaurant for dinner, where neither of you gets your first choice but both must accept a third alternative, accepting a third, less-threatening alternative for your business may sabotage your competitive edge.
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Listening, talking, communicating, resolving problems, making joint decisions... these are requirements for all business owners, not just entrepreneurial couples. Yet entrepreneurial couples often complain that communicating effectively with each other is the last thing they do.
Acquiescing or forcing your opinion upon your partner are other ways of avoiding conflict. In seeking to avoid conflict, for example, a persuasive person may push his or her partner to acquiesce to a certain point of view, but this does not mean that the partner agrees. It may mean only that the partner actually does not want to fight and so appears to agree, when he or she has only given in.
"I just hate confrontation!"
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Often times,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], mental clutter is made up of worries and bad feelings. (Very few people get overwhelmed by the amount of positive thoughts in their heads!) Regrets of the past and worries about the future can easily overshadow the present moment. Self-doubt can also take up a lot of space in the mind. When an excess of these types of thoughts take over in the brain, it can be stressful, upsetting, and sometimes even paralyzing.
By ADD Management Coach Jennifer Koretsky
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The following 3 methods have proven very helpful in clearing mental clutter,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
1. Write
A great way to clear mental clutter is to transfer the thoughts from your brain onto paper. This can be in the form of a to-do list,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], an email to a supportive person in your life,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], or a journal entry. When the thoughts are recorded, there is no need for your brain to hold on to them.
Additionally,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], if you feel weighed down by a situation (like an argument with a family member) writing about it can help you process your feelings. You can get a better grip on the events, how you feel, and what you might have done differently. A page or two might be all it takes.
The best way to clear this mental clutter is to process the thoughts, rather than letting them swim around in your brain. Doing so will allow you to focus on the present moment, and feel more calm and centered.
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Love,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych],
[)anish /|hmed, Visionary
What is chemistry? I think chemistry occurs when people feel a certain cosmic, spiritual, soulful,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], or sexual synchronicity. This is when we feel we understand someone; we can relate to them without them having to explain themselves. It is when we know what someone is going to say, before they say it,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], or know what someone is going to do,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], before they do it.
What is love? I believe love to be the foundation of eternal trust and unconditional acceptance. When we fear not the other person's actions,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], truly acknowledge all their choices,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and totally be with them, then there is love.
What is intimacy? I think it's a special feeling of closeness where we can be ourselves with each other. When we can be completely free to say whatever we want -- no matter how personal or sensitive -- then there is intimacy.
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What is connection? That's our spirit at work -- causing a spark,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], an electric current, or a vibration. It's that link which fuels our energy and drives us to do the things we wouldn't otherwise do.
What is desire? Desire is a "calling" that we feel, a powerful and compelling attraction, or the feeling of a destiny yet to be fulfilled. Desire is the ignition of passion.
By Danish Ahmed
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Let's love the world together...
What is life? It is a journey to discover,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], explore, and experience miracles like these.
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The only human being in your existence at all epoch and the single one who knows the reality from your viewpoint is you. Realise your own worth. Having the love of your relations is also vital throughout your revival era. If you are a family unit associate who has a loved one with a compulsion,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], this is a particularly significant article for you. You can succeed with positive self-affirmation and whether it is addiction or even a basic improvement to your character, you can do it.
The subconscious mind is a nexus where all your behavioural patterns and all your attitudes are stored, as well as any physical incarnations of things like fears and uneasiness are rooted from. So as you can see,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], if there is any problem or any positivity you want to instil in the subconscious,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you need to be able to penetrate the defences of the conscious mind. The only way you can go about doing it is to create the conditions where either there is stimulation so great (trauma) that emotions bypass the critical mind,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], or you repeat things to yourself until it becomes a part of the thought matrix.
By Greg Frost
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The base for building self-esteem to connect in co-dependency and compulsion revival,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], is built by recurring to the child of blamelessness inside. Learn and do your own work to turn out to be complete,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], keep in mind this is for your curing. Each human being is dissimilar and becoming completely whole again will depend on what an persons knowledge have been.
One method to induce a sense of positivity about oneself is the use of positive affirmation,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], a methodology that has been around for a long time in the form of affirmation prayers and has just become really popular with New Age philosophy and the accompanying publications on how effective this method has been in helping people all over the world.
When really bad things start to happen in your life, the most obvious response would be to just sometimes give up or let them overcome you. This is not the best course of action and you should come to the realisation that you have the power to make things better and come out a better person after each and every bad experience.
One of the aspects of positive affirmation is how it can lead you to success and one way people do this is by concentrating solely on the positive things that are happening in their lives,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], no matter how bleak the situation they are currently in. Repeating positive statements to one’s self is a great way to make the brain believe them, and this is down to a sort of subconscious mental therapy that you are inducing to yourself. What happens is that the subconscious mind is hidden from the conscious mind and you are not able to access it because of the fact that is being hidden from your mental awareness. But make no mistake,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], it is there and you have the power to control it.
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However, it's critical that you get this part handled as it's the foundation of all your success with women and dating. And if all you did was get this part handled, your success with women will skyrocket. Evidence by the fact that women complain about it a lot.

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As a cognitive therapist I am well aware of the influence our thinking has upon moods and behavior. Yet, I became fascinated with how much we are inundated by negative messages that can seriously affect how we perceive a situation and how we feel. Many people may believe that I might be overstating the consequences of such a simple word as "misery." However, try a simple experiment for yourself. The next time it is raining, tell your colleagues or family "It's just miserable and dreary out" and watch their reactions. Do they tend to respond with a negative comment? Especially pay attention to their nonverbals: do they appear happy? do they appear alert? do they commiserate with a frown? do their shoulders sag? do they sigh? Then try telling others "I find listening to the sound of the rain so relaxing." Is there a difference in the nonverbals? Are they more likely to respond with pleasant conversation?
Listening to the weather forecast one frigid day, I realized how much we are influenced by the catastrophic thinking of the media. The weatherman reported, "The weather has brought more misery to the St. Louis area." Certainly, the weather was causing problems that day. An ice storm caused car doors and locks to be frozen so that people had a great deal of trouble getting into their cars. However, I thought,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], unless someone was in the middle of nowhere with no cell phone and they were unable to open their car door because of the ice, this was not "misery." Instead, I would call it an "inconvenience." Most of us walked out to our cars to find that we couldn't open the door, went back inside a warm house or office, and found some solution to our problem.
Yet, in a philosophical sense, we could take this premise even further and question whether death is even a catastrophe. Suffering and death are normal parts of life just as joy and happiness are. I'm not saying we should embrace suffering and look forward to death, but I am saying that we can choose to focus on the joy and happiness in life by not making inconveniences into catastrophes.
Such a simple and fairly insignificant example. Yet, if you find that people respond differently in these two conditions, imagine this response multiplied by all the daily influences in our lives: other people, television,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], internet, newspapers,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], radio. In fact, don't just imagine but pay attention to the words that are used by the media. Take a news article and highlight the emotionally influential words. Listen to a talk show and write down the times they make negative comments. How do you feel when you listen to a show with many negative words and comments? Do you feel more angry or burdened? Or do you feel refreshed or energized?
By Monica A. Frank,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Ph.D.
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What a good example with which to make my point about the influence of words upon how we feel. How many of you have heard these types of comments and then readily agreed? And as a result tended to feel more sad, frustrated, irritated? Do you want to turn control of your life over to this type of influence? If not, make a resolution to refuse to allow the media to dictate how you think and feel. Be a critical thinker and evaluate what you hear and how you will allow it to influence you. Because unless Armageddon occurred while I wasn't looking, I don't know how the last ten years could be labeled "The decade from hell."

Copyright © 2009 by [link widoczny dla zalogowanych][link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Permission to reprint this article is granted if it includes this entire copyright and link.
ADDENDUM: Since I wrote the above article and 2009 is drawing to a close, I've had numerous clients echoing a common theme "I'm glad this decade is almost over." Usually, when a number of people are voicing something similar and negative, it can be traced back to the media. Sure enough, one of my clients told me that he heard a media personality declare the decade ending in 2009 (which technically isn't true until the end of 2010) as "The decade from hell." Once I started paying attention, I've heard numerous other examples in the media describing this decade in pejorative terms.
Therefore, my proposition is that the words we use can have quite an impact upon how we feel about a situation. If we look at a situation as an inconvenience rather than a catastrophe we will approach it differently and not feel as overwhelmed. One day a couple years ago just as I finished a session with my last client of the day in which we discussed this very topic and walked out to my car I noticed I had a flat tire. I said to myself, "This is an opportunity to practice what you preach. A flat tire is really just an inconvenience." However,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], I was supposed to teach a cardio kickboxing class that evening and I probably wasn't going to make it. So, I called AAA to fix my tire and another cardio teacher to handle my class continuing to remind myself that this is just an inconvenience. Prior to the truck from AAA arriving I received a call about someone I knew personally who was making suicidal threats and I needed to assist. Throughout all this I remained calm and handled both situations. Later,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], I recognized that by not responding as if it was a catastrophe that a friend was suicidal while my car was broke down,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], I was less stressed by the situation and was better able to assist.
A client I had who was dying of cancer once said to me,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], "If a problem can be solved by throwing money at it, it's not really a problem." She meant that even if you didn't have the money, it was still a solvable problem. Whereas, it didn't matter how much money she threw at the cancer, it was unsolvable. She was going to die no matter what.
So why is this a serious problem? Because of the psychological concept "self-fulfilling prophecy." A self-fulfilling prophecy refers to a belief that creates an outcome. For example, if an individual is walking into a social gathering and thinks "I have so much trouble talking to people. I'm probably going to end up sitting by myself," he is likely to have exactly the outcome predicted. The negative thought and prediction causes the person to project certain nonverbal messages such as not smiling or lacking eye contact with others which tends to make him less approachable. In addition, he may be less likely to initiate contact because of the belief. And therefore, the prediction comes true and he sits in a corner by himself.
Now, I'm certainly not saying that nothing is catastrophic. However, we need to be careful how many events we tend to classify in that category. I think in general we over-classify events as catastrophes. Most situations are not catastrophes and we need to keep perspective. For instance, one time when I was viewing things in my life more negatively, my husband looked up from the paper and said, "Here's an article about some folks in Ethiopia who were crossing the country on foot to get to another country for food and they were eaten by lions." That immediately put things in perspective for me because that was a true catastrophe.
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On the other hand, a self-fulfilling prophecy can also have a positive prediction. For example, let's say the person thinks "I have so much trouble talking to people. But I know I can introduce myself and smile and listen to others well. So I'll be able join a group and not sit by myself." This person is much more likely to have the positive outcome predicted.
Many years ago I treated a woman with severe Social Phobia. Terrified to be around others, she did her grocery shopping in the middle of the night and never interacted with others unless it was unavoidable. As she made progress in therapy, one day she reported excitedly "Someone asked me for directions at the mall." At first I was confused by this innocuous situation. However, she explained "Even when I was out in public in the past,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], no one ever approached me or smiled at me." Her previous self-fulfilling prophecy that no one could possibly like her had changed to the belief that she was a likeable person. As a result, her nonverbals had changed and other people could now approach her. This led to her being able to make friends, take classes, and get promoted to a supervisory position at work.
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By Quantum Jumping Team
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Many people feel it is important to write down a list of whatever it is they may want. This is done to make it explicitly clear what it is a person wants, and also to learn what kind of language a person is using. A person could say, “I’m broke and need more money.” However,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the universe might answer with Yes, you are broke and DO need more money! This isn’t what most people want. A better way to say this for the law of abundance could be, “I desire to be financially independent and I open my doors to ways of making and creating more money.” As with many things it takes time and repeating these positive affirmations before a person may see results.
The law of abundance can be used for many different areas of life. Some use it to improve their financial situation, others use it to improve their relationships,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and still others use it to help improve their health. The important thing to remember when beginning to use the law of abundance is that it isn’t instantaneous. If you wake up one day and begin saying to yourself how much you need money, the money won’t just appear. The thoughts or sayings need to be positive in nature, and they take time. It is thought that the law of abundance works by sending out a signal or vibration to the universe (by words or thoughts) and that the universe acts somewhat like a mirror and sends those signals back to you in various forms.
It is also notable that the law of abundance is more than just wishing for material things in life. Although wishing for these things is normal, it is also important to understand the value of wanting spiritual things as well.
When a person does finally see the first result of their positive affirmations,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], it can be a really great feeling. The important thing is to remember to also be thankful for getting what it is you wanted. Many people believe the universe loves gratitude,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and what better way to get more of what you want than to show appreciation for what you have already received?
Simply put, the law of abundance states that whatever a person thinks about or talks about comes to fruition. The history behind this comes from both philosophy and science in Plato’s time, and the thought was that an attractive force would be drawn to another attractive force. A good way to think about this is how a magnet is drawn to metal. Although different theories have further been studied in both chemistry and physics,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the general rule remains the same. When looking at the power of positive thought, it is clear that having a good mindset is key to attracting what you want.
If a person thinks on a global level and how they can impact society, there are some wishes that may change. That new material possession you want, a big fancy car perhaps, may not seem quite as necessary when you think about someone having to walk miles everyday just to get clean,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], fresh water. You may begin to realize you want that but could put your money to better use by getting something less and spreading your wealth around or by investing and putting the money to other uses. That’s not to say that you shouldn’t want a big new fancy car, it is just being aware of what you truly desire. If anyone was asked what 10 things they could have for free right now, many would likely say a new car. But if people stop and truly give time and energy into knowing what they want,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], many times those material things change. It’s okay if they stay the same,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but the idea is to be certain of your wishes and desires.
Using the law of abundance should be a positive experience. Remaining upbeat and focused on your goals is paramount. When you begin to believe the universe is full of abundance and that you merely need to channel the right kind of energy, most things will come your way. There are those who believe that if you don’t get what you desire,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you still need to learn something in that area. For example, if you desire great wealth but spend your money foolishly,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], it may take time for you to adjust your thoughts on money. Give time and patience towards your efforts, and be reflective of the things that are occurring in your life,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and you will soon become the recipient of great things through the law of abundance.
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However, it's critical that you get this part handled as it's the foundation of all your success with women and dating. And if all you did was get this part handled, your success with women will skyrocket. Evidence by the fact that women complain about it a lot.

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Don't you think that love is a natural beautiful phenomenon ? What a shame to have to tie your partner to a ritual of evidence actions based on the stories of your expectations. Be brave, let go and focus on giving the love you want. It is after all,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], All About You.
Like it or lump it, having expectations leads ultimately to disappointment and hangs one outcome on a situation that could have many outcomes,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], all positive, depending on your attitude.
Lets test this with a small scenario...your anniversary has arrived. It's been 5 years together and you thought you would surprise your partner with a romantic meal, candles...you get the picture. Your partner normally arrives home at 7, so you rush up to pour the bath, bubbles etc. The romantic stage is set for a beautiful eve. You have visualised (and expected !!) your loved one being utterly overcome with adoration for your efforts and having a wonderful evening followed by a passionate night of the most exquisite love-making. 8pm arrives and your partner has not set foot in the door. Alarm bells and stories start to manifest. In your mind you have expected many things perhaps. Your partner to arrive home when they always do at 7. A phone call perhaps to tell you they may be a little late. But nothing. 9pm arrives then 10pm. Finally at 10.30pm your partner drifts in the door a little worse for wear from an impromptu drink after work. At this point the choice is yours. 1) You can explode with a barrage of accusations about what you have done to surprise your man/lady and how they have failed that 2) You can step back and look at what you planned with a big dollop of self awareness that you created the scene and the expectation around it - you meet your partner with ease and a kiss and a hug and then your evening can still be salvaged and may well end up being better than you thought. It is a choice. Be angry or find another way to keep the joy going. I know it's not easy but what do you want...pain or pleasure ?
So how do we deal with the affliction of expectation ?
When it comes to relationships, expecting can be disastrous. Expectations of what our partner should or should not be doing to make us happy only leads ultimately to one place, misery and conflict. Why, because one, looking to the other to make you happy will only create temporary highs and two, defining your happiness based on expectation is a never ending journey; one where you can never truly be satisfied.
Expectation is aligned with fear. Allowing is aligned with love. Next time you catch yourself expecting, question it's importance and validity. Is this worth ruining my day/evening over ? Because my partner is not meeting my expectation,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], does that mean they don't care about me ? The answer to both questions and many more is probably no. A list of expectations is a form of requiring proof that your partner cares and loves you.
Expectations may help to control the freak in you, but what impact are they having on your relationship and you ? And what if your partner doesn't live up to the expectations you have set ? In terms of your values,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you are likely to head off into story mode. "He just doesn't care about me" "I do so much for her and she doesn't show me how much she appreciates me". Notice the "me" and "I" in those sentences. Now we are getting to my point. Expecting is all about you. Welcome to the truth.
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But Gina, I expect my partner not to physically abuse me or take advantage of my feelings. Yes,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], that maybe your truth. We need to form some boundaries to maintain our integrity and sense of self otherwise how else would we survive, but expectations often form rigid milestones for your partner to reach that denote "I won't be happy unless...." ...eek too much pressure !
Let go ! How does it feel when you do ? It is only a thought. It’s about control and releasing control is about "feeling the fear", to coin a well known phrase. Question your beliefs around your partner making you happy. If someone placed a heap of expectations on you, how would you feel ? Trapped,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], stifled, unable to breath perhaps. So that is how your partner may feel. Not very free is it ?
I have many many times "expected" in love. My boyfriends had to text, call and be attentive when I felt they should...blah blah."Should", oh what a destructive word for the mind to use in it's plot to harm ! Zillions of times I have heard girlfriends say "He said he would call, mail, text,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], come over and he didn't". Because he "said he would" sets the expectation in stone and dumps your partner in the proverbial doo-doo if they don't do what they say they were going to. But ! ..you cry, that’s not my problem it's his/hers ! Yes,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], on some levels, but I am not concerned with them, just you. How you react to the expectation of what "should" be, is the key.
By Gina Hardy
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When you wake up in the morning. What do you expect to happen ? I expect my alarm to go off in the morning. I expect daylight to have arrived. I expect that I can move my body and get out of bed. I expect my breakfast Radio 2 programme to be on and I expect the kettle to boil when I switch it on,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Sounds simple but we do alot of expecting without realising it,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. It's generally unconscious conditioning.
Healthy conscious relationships thrive on allowing. Your partner is not a possession but someone to enjoy the path of life with, in freedom and joy. Expectations can harm and create conflict in your delicate laboratory of love and sadly many people out there still find themselves inflicting rules on their partner in order to try and be loved and approved of.
Expectations are ok to a point but when we attach and literally crave and desire them, we are usually setting ourselves up for a fall. With expectation comes attachment to the outcome and pressure for that expectation to be fulfilled in the way we planned.
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Think about your wonderful attributes and not your faults. Take an inventory of your values, skills, talents, interests and “heart”. This is the beauty you present to the world. Leave all your negative thoughts behind at home.

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Celebrity is a creature all its own. We have a perceived access to these individuals, we feel as though we know them, even though we don’t. I remember getting my dad to buy me Tiger Beat magazine,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], which regularly featured either the Jacksons or the Osmonds or both on the cover. Today celebrity access is widespread and instantaneous. We can follow just about anyone on twitter. Websites break news before the news stations can get a camera crew out to the scene.
If we are caught up in the coverage of Michael Jackson’s life and death that is going on right now, maybe it is because we have some of that archetype in ourselves. Maybe we feel misunderstood. Maybe we seek to create,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and be heard the way Michael was. Maybe we long for our childhoods, for simpler days. What can we do? We can take out own advice,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], look at that man in the mirror and change our ways… “If you want to make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and make that change.”
Michael Jackson’s death reminds us that time is fleeting. Just a few months ago many of the items taken from Neverland were on display in Los Angeles. I heard about this and went. At the last minute I decided to take my camera. I didn’t know if I would be able to take it inside,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but I was allowed to, and I made a video of what I saw. It’s very interesting,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and gives us some glimpse of insight into Michael Jackson’s life.
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Michael Jackson's Neverland Collection
When I was just two years old my mother was grocery shopping and I was sitting in the cart. One of the managers must have made an announcement that President Kennedy had been shot. I remember my mother getting very flustered, and taking me out of the cart to go home. She was trying to explain to me what was going on – and I could feel that something was terribly wrong. This was such an emotional event that many of us remember exactly where we were and what we were doing when we got the news. I also remember where I was when I found out that Princess Diana died. She and I were about the same age,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and we both got married and had two boys at about the same time, so I always felt a connection with her. And now I’ll always remember when I heard that Michael Jackson died. I got an e-mail alert that Michael had suffered cardiac arrest and was being transported to the hospital. I felt troubled, and confused. Then I drove to pick up my mail, and as I got in the car to come home, I heard on the radio an official confirmation that Michael had passed away. The radio station was playing his music in tribute. My heart dropped.
By Lissa Coffey
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In his 50 years Michael Jackson lived a very full life. He had successes and failures; he had conquests and controversies. As much as we feel we might know him from his concerts, albums,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], testimonies and interviews, we don’t really know Michael Jackson the person. The best we can do is to know ourselves. That’s all we can ever really do.
Whenever we look at another person and feel a strong emotion,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], there’s something about that person that we see in ourselves. Whether we love it or hate it,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], people act as mirrors for each one of us. We are examples for each other, of what we judge to be good and bad, best or worst. The qualities in another person that draw us or repel us we can also see in ourselves to some degree,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], in some way. Celebrities, with a kind of larger than life image, end up being archetypes. Elvis Presley,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Marilyn Monroe, and now Michael Jackson might be thought of as the tortured artist. Talented, creative, expressive, and yet at the same time uncomfortable and somewhat out of place. Each turned to various distractions to try to “normalize” their feelings. Both Elvis and Michael basically created their own worlds in Graceland and Neverland. These were places where they could fit in, surrounded by people and things that made them feel at home.
What is it about celebrities that gets us so engrossed in their lives and deaths? My favorite Michael Jackson song, and ironically it is one that he didn’t write, is “Man in the Mirror” and I think this helps to explain a lot of what we are going through.
Since Michael Jackson’s untimely death last week we’ve been inundated with stories and speculations about his life. I’m in the generation that grew up with Michael. We watched him as a child singing on TV with his brothers, ABC and Rockin’ Robin, and tried our best to copy his moves. As kids we sang along, mesmerized by the upbeat tunes that played on the radio as we sat in the backseat of our parents’ cars. We went through the awkward teen stage in our own lives, set to a disco soundtrack. And we came into our own just as Michael did with Thriller, finding our groove,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and defining ourselves.
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Think about your wonderful attributes and not your faults. Take an inventory of your values, skills, talents, interests and “heart”. This is the beauty you present to the world. Leave all your negative thoughts behind at home.

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You have another reason for wanting to do this. Talk to your health care provider about the type of help that may be best for you. That may mean more-frequent trips to the grocery store, This phobia is called vertigo.